The Evolution of Carlos: Part 1 - December 2004

Alright, here begins a reflection on a small segment of my life. I will be quoting excerpts from my old blog in chronological order, followed by a commentary. Let's begin.


Saturday, 4 December, 2004 - 11:31pm

"Ok, so. This is my first post. I feel kinda bad cause I used to give all these rants about how these things were so stupid, but I guess I got really curious."

Of course, I grew to love writing and found it a great way to work out my thoughts and feelings. But I do remember thinking people who wrote out their lives online were stupid, lol. Guess I joined the club.


Sunday, 5 December, 2004 - 2:13am

"... the others, i know they have lives and such, and yet they spend their time writing down every detail of their lives down for their friends to read. gd, just call ur f'n friend. it's not like you don't see them constantly. i mean, not that i don't plan on writing down things that happen to me here, but, i definately don't expect my friends to know what's going on in my life by signing online and cliking a few buttons."

Of course, this is the year before Facebook makes its debut and communication with friends becomes almost entirely dependent on "clicking a few buttons". Funny how things change. Since then, I have become completely addicted to sharing my life online via facebook/twitter/etc.


Sunday, 5 December, 2004 - 10:51pm

"... but the thing is, I want to help SOBER people. And, I don't think I make anyone's life better by giving them passage to booze and football. I don't even like football."

Certain jobs lead us to evaluate our paths in life. I was working as an usher at Soldier Field at the time. Clearly, I did not enjoy it.


Monday, 6 December, 2004 - 11:18am

"Rocio: so que pasa
Carlos: not a lot. just about to write a new post for xanga
... Rocio: you're an addict
Carlos: i knooooow
Carlos: i hate myself."

"moral of the story. always carry your credit card and be wary of naps."

The first quote is an excerpt from a conversation between Rocio and I. At that point in time, I really had become addicted to writing on my Xanga. The second quote is a piece of advice that still applies.


Wednesday, 8 December, 2004 - 3:46pm

"There's one thing I don't get. How do people post all their personal shit on these things? Like, if it's personal, then why are you sharing it with the world? I mean, I am tempted to write what I feel, but, then anyone can read it and that makes me uncomfortable."

See my commentary for 5 Dec. '04 - 02:13


Friday, 10 December, 2004 - 1:07am

"... all I know is that the club chick is into Seth, the new girl like Ryan, Ryan likes her, Julie is hot for her ex, and I think Calben has been having an affair or something, but he has a daughter no one knows about that turned out to be the girl that Ryan likes. It was a good half hour."

Clearly, I was little to invested in "The O.C." on FOX.


Thursday, 16 December, 2004 - 2:14am

Lora: man, you have no idea how many times i've considered killing her in her sleep
Carlos: *** -- *** -- i've always wanted a famous friend
Lora: ... -- BEAUTIFUL FILIPINO KILLS ANNOYING BITCHASS SKINNY RICH WHITE ROOMMATE
... Lora: sounds like regular headline news to me
... Lora: Today, here at Loyola University, we are investigating a homicide -- The funny part about this homicide is that the murderer, Lora *** confessed completely and right away -- She isn't even pleading insanity even though she has full right to -- Chicago Head Police Chief, after hearing Lora's story says "I would have killed the bitch too. The only difference is that I wouldn't have waited so long"
... Lora: As we continue to cover the sotry, we learn that Lora has decided to pawn the bitch's stuff. -- I'm not teling, I got a niceass $400 purse for my wife for only $50 -- What a deal -- We only find out that Lora's roommate had a sick obsession with her own little brother -- Among the rubble inthe burned and gasloined room, we find hundreds of pictures of the victm with her little brother -- Some are cute while others are quite disturbing
... Lora: When asked what her reasons were, Lora keeps it short and aweet saying" I hated the dumb rude naive bitch, and it was the best way to get my own room" -- of course ith a smile on her face -- Well, if you ask me, there is no crime here, except for the pain that Lora has had to suffer until now. She is completely innocent, and her roommate's parents owe her $3000 for Lora having to live with there daughter for an entire semester

Lora: Do you think I should be a journalist?

My old friend Lora on her roommate in college. This was too funny not to share.


Wednesday, 29 December, 2004 - 10:46pm

"i was involved in a conversation about masturbation which was definately a hell of a lot more exciting than apples to apples..."

Thursday, 30 December, 2004 - 2:25am

"i agree. -- yes, if it's a sober party, games should not be played -- if you can't talk and have fun without jenga -- maybe it means you people don't click -- oh wait -- that's the obvious problem -- they all hate each other!! hehe" - Meghan J.

These two excerpts go hand in hand. I was such an arrogant prick.



Well, in retrospect, I was TOTALLY addicted to my Xanga and writing everything down. These have only been small excerpts of longer posts that I had written. What was I on? Where did I find the time? There were so many things I told and shared and discussed in those posts. It's interesting to look back at them because the person who wrote them is now the person I am today. December 2004 to May 2009 is a long time. I like to think I grew up, but it's also scary because I do recognize certain bad qualities that I still have. And this is why REFLECTION is important! So we can examine a situation and use what we learn to make new and better decisions. Here's to better decisions.

Peace.